1. |
introverture
04:07
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2. |
sunday
02:13
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sunday morning dawns again.
steady as the rising sun, steady as your heart.
the only thing that's constant now that you've played your part,
your life was just as fleeting as the flowers in your hair
you're staring at the ceiling and wishing you were there.
every second of happiness is worth a year of pain,
your blood still runs on promises, one day you'll be okay.
sunday morning dawns again.
warmer than your eyes, colder than your heart,
and you've lost track of time now, laying in the dark.
that life was just as fleeting as the flowers in your hair,
postcards from a churchyard saying "wish you were here".
one day, you'll wake up.
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3. |
kingdom come
03:59
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seven miles east of the end of the world
the air is made of juniper and chlorine.
every living creature wants to sing your praise,
it's humming from the honeybees.
they wove me a crown from dandelions
and they said that i was here to save the day.
no one ever told me i was pretty, they only told me i was brave
maybe i wouldn't be here right now if it had stayed that way.
when they ask you for your name,
say your mother never gave you one
it's better not to tempt fate.
but the altar in the woods is begging for your blood,
the cathedral in the pines wants you to stay.
so come my love, come with me,
we'll give our bodies to the trees forever.
come my love, stay right here,
we'll eat nectar and ambrosia stay forever.
stay forever young, i'll take you to kingdom come.
isn't it a burden just to be?
isn't it a wonder just to live?
don't you think the hardest part is learning to forgive yourself?
so come my love, don't give in,
don't you know good always wins?
come my love, don't look back,
the real world will tear you apart,
you know that.
come my love, your heart's too big
for the world outside,
you know you'll never make it.
please just stay forever young.
i'll take you to kingdom come
and the sun will just be the sun.
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4. |
ninety ten
03:33
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do you remember when we dug my grave together?
i've seen polaroids from that funeral party without me.
now the earth's off your hands, the weight's mine to bear,
and it seems only fair
that you've got room to spare for a couple lines about me.
i'll keep throwing rocks at the window
of a room that is a black hole,
and when you leave i'll chase your shadow.
don't worry, i'm not gonna let you go
you know me, i'm never gonna leave it alone.
do you remember when we dug my grave together?
after so long, the details start to abandon your brain.
i heard you singing again from six feet below,
and i dug my way out cause i've got to know
if we shared the load, why can't we share the blame?
i know they say i should be proud,
i know that i should shut my mouth,
it's gotta be someone, just wait it out.
it's just execution for a hungry crowd,
but who knew that it would never slow me down?
my last words were
"at least it was him who ended me"
my last words were
"what a beautiful death he's given me"
i'm three inches away from breaking through the ground and even though i'd take sixty forty, it sorta feels like ninety ten when i'm watching the sun belt claim you and i'm still here with the same thing to complain about stuck in my brain you're haunting me like all my other mistakes, and i've got nothing better to do than make art from pain and pretend that no one knows that i'm never gonna let you go, even though, even though this has become a ghost town, we're all ghosts now, with nothing left to show but the scars we choose to use so i'll follow you right back home until the sun sets and even then when you go the sunset's gonna stretch your shadow from the west coast as far as it'll go giving me just enough of you to grab hold of. i'll miss your bones but i'll be right back here when you miss the cold.
well i've been dragging your bones
from coast to coast,
so just take me or leave me.
i've been dragging your bones
from coast to coast,
so just take me from sea to shining sea.
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5. |
mercy
04:30
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there’s a church on my bathroom wall
where my marble spirits break and fall.
where all they do is measure my worth
by the size of my wrists
and my time left on earth.
it's always january, the sky is gray,
once you go they'll make you stay.
you’ll be just another girl who faded away.
just another wasteland babe.
you pulled yourself under, all that’s left to do is drown.
you let the light escape you,
you’re decaying from the inside out.
stay close to me, i’ll keep sinking.
crown me with a winter breeze,
crown me with the air you breathe.
burn a candle in my memory,
they'll worship my bones when there's nothing left of me.
my eulogy spills from the mouth of the priest:
"ruler of us all; she was less, she was least."
you pulled yourself under, all that’s left to do is drown.
you let the darkness eat you up,
decaying from the inside out.
and everyone’s watching you,
no one’s left to pull you out.
everyone’s watching you,
no one’s left to save you now.
stay close to me, i’ll keep sinking.
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6. |
teeth
03:56
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sometimes, i wish i could just unzip my skin
but what would I do with all the flesh left over?
sometimes, I wish I could crack open my ribs
and fill my chest with roses.
my lips bleeding idolatry and envy,
my heartbeat betraying me.
all I ever wanted was to just be,
without the stain of loving you corrupting me.
running with the pack is running me ragged,
driving home with you is driving me wild.
together let's warm my cold hands and your cold heart,
let your smile make everything alright,
just let me live forever in your light.
maybe I'm just fucking crazy to be so hung up on you.
maybe you deserve to hate me for being so stuck on you.
but what would I be without this?
this feeling in my stomach is all I know
my dear, without you,
am I worth anything at all?
running with the pack is running me ragged
learned to stay hungry, learned to keep my edges jagged
this madness for you is like a disease
and i can't help loving the attention it gets me.
you are carved with bloody fingernails into my skin,
you are flaying, lacerating, the evidence of my sin.
you are a warning sign for all those who love me
don't get too close or you might become me.
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7. |
junk!
03:39
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there's a whole lotta junk flowing through my veins,
there's a snow white haze filling up my brain.
the rabbit hole's lined with velvet
and smells like summer rain.
i spilled my guts on your basement floor,
and you ate them whole before the blood got cold,
the party’s over, bring in the vultures, call the wolves.
and maybe the heat has me out of my head,
and maybe the heat's what's keeping me in bed.
i'm over it.
be careful, you are not in wonderland.
my skin still burns where you held my hand.
i'm over it.
so many ghosts in these rooms.
i hope you carry me forever.
i still taste every day i spent with you,
still regret everything I said to you.
i blamed myself, why can't you too?
so many ghosts in these rooms.
so much wasted time and wasted youth,
i refuse to let you kill me too.
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8. |
rotten
04:08
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tell him careful walking up the stairs, those floorboards might not hold,
you can blame it on the weather, but your heart is frozen cold.
tell him your mouth's covered in cobwebs,
they're stretching across your teeth
but he won't seem to mind kissing you anyway.
and he'll pull you straight from the coffin,
same flower eyes, two graveside shots of whiskey.
and he'll see that your bones are rotten,
when he's inside you, how much skeleton can he see?
so when you gonna tell him?
nothing grows in corpses,
there's nothing he or anyone can do.
when you gonna tell him?
your skin can't hide black insides,
there's nothing left of you.
and you're gone,
and your bones are bleached by the sun,
and you're no good.
when you gonna tell him, baby?
tell him careful waiting up for you,
cause you don't plan to stay,
good wives don't speak their troubles,
so just drink your wine and pray.
tell him tainted isn't pretty and
perfection ate you whole
your pride like water in your lungs
drowns all the words it stole.
clean hearts can't be built on devotion,
silver thread won't make them new and never torn,
dead veins keep on singing to open,
but all he feels is that they're gonna keep his skin real warm.
so when you gonna tell him?
angels don't fall easy,
there's nothing he or anyone can do.
when you gonna tell him?
your eyes can't hide dead insides,
there's nothing left, he's still got hold of you.
when you gonna tell him baby?
when he finds out he'll leave you outside,
the birds will pick you clean again.
you better pray he leaves you outside
for that little death you hoped for with the sun.
no, nothing's wrong.
so when you gonna tell him?
but you don't need to say it,
his lips are cracked and stained red just like yours.
when you gonna tell him?
every kiss you've given up
just kills and makes you die a little more.
and you're gone
and your bones are bleached by the sun,
and you're no good.
when you gonna tell him, baby?
the funeral's tomorrow, and he'll be waiting.
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9. |
botticelli
03:38
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it's always summer in the desert
i can't get away from you.
and when it's raining out in california
do you think about me too?
all the states between us filled with things I never said,
was it wrong to fall so far?
will you take these words and my regret?
i've been everyone and everything except for free,
i've lived every last identity except for me.
and now i know i'm nothing special and i've never been,
but my god, it's enough that I exist.
(is it fair that i've wasted my every breath on you?
i was nothing before you made me who i am,
but i will be everything without you.)
spread my ashes out west and i'll rise like a phoenix.
paint me in a seashell, i'll be your venus.
i'm reckless, lovestruck, roseate, i'm tragedy and myth,
no one’s ever treated my heart like the fragile thing it is.
i’m praying for sunshine, i’m praying for ecstasy.
i’m praying for palm trees, and the sacred empty spaces in between,
it's not enough, it's not enough just to feel the way i do
i need to know you're real, i need to breathe in you.
i'm watching the sun set in my rearview mirror,
and i'm gonna get so far away from here,
someone said they heard you knocking at the mausoleum door,
well, i'm not there anymore.
can't you feel the glory days?
can't you feel the glory fade?
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10. |
sunshine slowdown
02:59
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bruises fading like the sunset,
my heart's a record that no one's flipped yet.
i'm still bad at having civil conversations
with the voices in my head.
these days, all i do is daydream
of a life that used to haunt me.
for three years, i've kept it at the back of my throat-
i might just choke.
i never dreamed of seeing daylight
without you standing by my side.
my body's never felt so holy,
but freedom has never,
has never been so lonely.
well baby, i'm your b-side,
no one listens to me,
but at least i'm honest.
i got a feeling that you'll never know
how wrong you were.
and i can't believe it's all still growing inside of me,
and i've outgrown you, but i can't show you.
we are the opposite of summer.
we are the opposite of lovers.
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11. |
nothing gold can stay
03:58
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so tell me a tale of snakes and wolves,
and the sun and stars and sea.
tell me a tale of the unforgiving earth,
and not seeing the forest for the trees.
the queen's picked up the king's fallen crown,
it's finished now.
oh mercy me, i'm full of venom.
but the world's got charm for days,
and if there's one thing life is good at
it's making my romantic heart ache.
prophets all among you, laying in the weeds.
heads swimming with visions, still they couldn't see.
no one knows, it comes and goes.
some days are okay, some days i can be brave,
some days i pray the earth will rise and claim me.
but what i want and what i've got might not be so far apart,
i'm through learning lessons, but i'm not done being taught.
stay safe, stay sane,
don't let gods tell you anything.
stay safe, stay sane,
when you've got nothing to lose,
you've got everything to gain.
stay safe, stay sane,
nothing gold can stay.
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missouri surf club Saint Louis, Missouri
INDIE DEATHPOP
SURF EMO
DARK IMPULSES WITH A TOUCH OF WHIMSY
THE SCENT OF LOVE AND THE SOUND OF
REVENGE
--
missouri surf club is:
eleanor: vocals, words, bass, guitar, etc.
z: synths, ukulele, bass.
kei: drums, vocals.
join our mailing list:
mailchi.mp/e96f00503b92/mailinglist
... more
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